Fair? What's that?

Think back to your childhood…..even if it was a long time ago. Are you there yet? Keep going back….okay, you can stop now.

If you had siblings, you can relate to my story.

When we were growing up, everything had to be perfectly fair. If someone had a cherry in their fruit cocktail, all three of us needed to have one. If someone had ice cream for dessert, all three bowls better have looked pretty equal. If someone had a cookie, the others better be allowed to also.

You get the picture. I’m sure your own kids do the same thing.

My house is no different. But today’s issue took the top prize.

The girls just had lunch. One had pizza, the other a turkey sandwich. In my quest to not clean, I gave them paper plates. The one with pizza got two plates because we know how greasy pizza can be once reheated.

We were happily eating lunch when the turkey sandwich kid noticed the pizza kid had two plates yet she only had one.

“Mommy, how come she has two plates and I only have one?”

I showed her the greasy top plate so she could understand better. Yes, I had to justify my actions. Geesh.

Turkey sandwich girl listened to my tale, paused and said,

“Well, tomorrow I am going to have pizza too.”

All that just to get two plates just like her sister? You’ve got to be kidding.

I think I’ll just give her one plate and see what she says.....

Teenage Boys.....

If you have one, you already know. But if you don’t, let me fill you in with my experience. If you have a little boy, get ready.

Teenage boys eat. He will get in the car and eat anything mom has left from lunch, eat a snack once home, and eat dinner an hour later. How?

Teenage boys don’t ever come ask questions. They text from room to room or instant message on skype. Or, they send their little sisters to ask for them.

Teenage boys don’t like to clean up. They prefer to dump their clothes in the entry way to the bedroom and step over them. Why?

Teenage boys think climbing up the side of the house is fun. Mom does not like this game.

Teenage boys wear shorts when it’s freezing outside and jeans when it’s hot. Yep.

Teenage boys have a higher average in Spanish than in English. And English is the only language spoken at home. Kinda makes you wonder…..

Teenage boys create new and exciting games. Take dodgeblock for example. This is dodgeball on steroids. Think throwing blocks instead of balls. Get the picture?

Teenage boys do projects that involve being hit by a car. Don’t worry, there was adult supervision.

Teenage boys are fun to embarrass in front of their girlfriends.

Don’t you wish you had one?

Get your own. You can’t have mine.

My Life in Instant Replay

Here are a few tidbits for your amusement…..

We were preparing for Mass on Sunday when Dave said, “Maybe we’ll sing a Latin song.

Anna Grace said, “An Aladdin song?”
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I was doing laundry (rare, I know) when I looked down and saw a suitcase in the laundry basket. Why? Was it in need of cleaning?
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The little girls went with daddy to take Katie back to college. On the way home, they saw a blimp flying over the Georgia Dome. Why, I don’t know since the dome is, well, a dome. Anyhow. When asking Abby what they saw, she paused and said, “A bleep.”
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When I was heading out to the store, Alex said he needed shampoo. “Oh, and mom? Get the kind with conditioner in it. The girl behind me in fourth block said my hair isn’t soft enough”. Huh. How does she know this? “She plays with my hair when I’m sleeping”.
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Anna Grace got on the daycare bus headed for the after school program. The owner of the center said she overheard the following while driving….
“Hey Logan, my dad ate alligator. He said it tastes like chicken.”
Why? Was this the foremost thing in her mind???
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Alex announced on the way home that he had a group Spanish project to do involving needing to create a video/dialogue for calling for first aid---all in Spanish. His group’s idea? To video tape Alex being hit by a car. Yep.
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Coming home from school, we passed a hotel that is a mile or so from our house. Abby said, “Can we go to the hotel, mom?” Uh no. “But we never get to!” Well, we live here. “But we can still go! The hotel has beds and furniture just like our house.”
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I was passing Anna Grace’s classroom and noticed the cute display on the door. The children had put brown footprints and black handprints to make reindeer. I commented to her teacher that it was adorable. Addressing Anna Grace, her teacher said, “Did mommy clean your foot really well last night?” AG said, “Nope, we didn’t even take a shower or a bath!”
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Anna Grace came out of their room for a drink of water. Next thing I heard was, "Copycat is coming too, mom".......Abby was on her way.
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Oh, and a mommy funny. I got to school and realized I had a huge hole in my sock. So I did the logical thing and stapled my sock shut. Doesn't that make sense to you???

More to come, I’m sure.

Wedding or Football?

So, tonight is the Georgia vs Georgia Tech game. Big game here in the ATL. And what are we watching? Our wedding video. Yep.

I forgot I had promised the short crowd that we’d watch it today. At 7:30, that is what they requested.

Are you serious? Not Frosty or something? Geesh.

We had running commentary the whole time……

What shoes were you wearing? (white)
Did they click? (yes)
Who is that guy talking to you? (Father Joe)
Were you hungry? (yes)
Oh, I see Grandma and Grandpa!
Hi Daddy! (yelling to the tv screen)
There’s Aunt Karen!
I remember being there. (nope, you don’t)
Did you eat lots of cake? (nope, one small bite)
What kind of dancing is that? (waltz)
Who won your flowers? (Aunt Lori)
Why is daddy putting his hand up your dress? (to get the garter)
Why is that guy putting that garter on the girl? (tradition)
Did he see Aunt Lori’s underwear? (garter time: no, he didn’t).
What does JUL 8, 1989 mean? (the date we got married)

But, oh the memories.

The big 80’s hair.
The 80’s clothing.
Old friends. Trying to remember names!
The waltz. My uncle Larry taught us all years ago and dad reinforced….but it didn’t click with me!
Mingling with people but never eating….so yes, I was hungry!
Having one of my best friends catch the garter….and my brother’s girlfriend (now wife) catching the bouquet.
Dancing and music.
College and high school friends.

And then….
Mommy, how old were you when you were marrying?
I was 22.
Wow. You are 42 now.
That is old.

Thanks kid.

But the best thing from the video??

Seeing the family who was with us then but who now are gone.

Thanksgiving in re-run....

Thanksgiving means...

Extra silly kids.....




Teens....what more can I say?





Things that make you scratch your head...




A full house....




The turkey....



And memories of our day with friends….

Priceless.

Thanksgiving Eve is Here!

Tis’ the day before Thanksgiving,
and all through the land,
we’re dreaming of food
that makes tummies expand.

But no food will be had
with the house still a mess.
Summon some help please
in this time of distress.

Alas, the ole’ cleaning fairy
did not arrive.
It’s up to the kids…..
Oh, will they survive?

Take out the garbage,
sweep up the dust,
finish the laundry, and
yes, that’s a must!

Find linens and candles,
glasses and plates,
all prep for turkey day
with our good mates.

Pantry is stocked
full of good things galore.
What does tomorrow bring?
What is in store?

Daddy leaves early
for his big run.
Since when are half-marathons
considered to be fun?

When he arrives home
tired, safe and sound,
cooking will commence
and good smells will abound.

He’ll get the big bird,
add stuffing and baste.
Toss into the oven
with no time to waste!

Add green beans and corn,
mash up some spuds,
bake rolls, open cranberries,
and put on clean duds.

A house full of friends
is expected at three
to share food and drinks,
and Mr. Turkey.

That’s what our tomorrow
surely will bring.
Our wishes to you for
a blessed Thanksgiving!

The Wrong Airplane

When Daddy left in early October for his long trip to Asia, I made the girls a calendar to count down the days. They’ve been faithfully counting the days until November 21.....the day daddy would fly home.

But you know we have to mess with them somehow, right?

Daddy decided to cut his trip short by a week!

After much deliberation, we decided not to tell the little girls about his change in plans. Surprises are much more fun, aren’t they?

Alex and I talked in code throughout the week about “the package” coming early. We had a few mishaps where someone forgot and used the real info, but thankfully, little ears were clueless.

On Friday morning, “the package” arrived via air.

Following a shower and quick nap, daddy left to pick the girls up at school.

From what I hear, he caused quite a sensation in the after school room. Both girls stunned into silence followed by screaming, “Daddy!!!” all while flying into his arms. I’m sure it was a sight to behold.

Evidently the conversation on the way home was about daddy coming home before the calendar said November 21.

But daddy, it’s not the 21st yet.

Daddy’s answer:

I got on a plane to go to Thailand. Guess it was the wrong plane because it took me home. Do you think someone is still waiting for me at the airport in Thailand?

You know what?

They believed him.

This morning at soccer, they passed along the story of how daddy took the wrong plane in China and came home instead.

Oh my.

The Laundry Tales

Five weeks ago, daddy left us for a long business trip. That meant mommy was the only one in charge of everything.

Uh, hello? Is this a good thing?

You ask the kids…..they’d probably say yes. Kid friendly meals, watching TV in jammies during dinner, showers every other night…..you get the picture.

You ask me and I’d disagree.

So while I've been taking up the slack being the only adult at home, some things slid.

Like laundry.

The clothes are clean…..with laundry detergent, I promise. But nothing has been folded or put away for, uh, five weeks.

My mother would be so proud.

Oh wait, no she wouldn't.

Each day has been spent going on a treasure hunt in the depths of the baskets to find clean clothes to wear.

I got a bit weary of the challenge…….so caved in tonight and folded it all.

Also didn’t want daddy coming home to this…..




Didn’t think he’d find the hide and seek game quite so amusing.

As suggested by some of my wonderful co-workers, I enlisted the help of the six and under crowd.

For some reason, folding clothes can be fun when you are young. If only they knew.




Despite the assistance from over-eager helpers, it’s all folded



and put away.

Guess what’s in my baskets now?

Minutes in My Life

Do your thoughts go a mile a minute all the time like mine? Here is a snippit into the craziness that is my mind.....

Why is it that Abby doesn’t like getting her face wet at the pool but very happily sticks her whole head under the shower?

Why are there no parents on “Max and Ruby”?

How come my kids don’t seem to know how to walk indoors..…only run?

How do the toys seem to multiply overnight?

Why do I spend my day thinking in Facebook status?

Why am I so tired?

What is the purpose of “Yo Gabba Gabba”?

Why is spaghetti so slippery?

How come all my kids are smart yet have no common sense?

Why do my kids feel the need to update me on their bathroom happenings?

Who invented Caller ID? I want to kiss him.

What possessed Abby to put her tights on OVER her jeans?

What made Alex wear shorts and a t-shirt to school the other day when it was 35 degrees outside?

When will my sanity return?

All this in just a short time period.

So, when Dave asks me what I'm thinking about.....the easy answer is...........nothing.

When I attempt to explain my thoughts and thought pattern, I just get "the look".

Yep, I'm crazy.

Or, maybe I'm just a busy mom.

That's it, right??

Do You Remember When.....

we had record albums and not CD’s?

going out to eat was a big event….even if it was just McDonalds?

you would walk or ride your bike to school/work?

you were expected to have a job to earn your own spending money?

we had to use pay phones and not cell phones?

no one had computers?

getting a VCR was a huge deal?

we had Atari and Pong?

most teens you knew had a job?

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Here we are years later when all of the above have changed.

We all have CD’s and DVD’s.

Most families eat out at least once per week if not more.

Most kids drive or are driven to school.

Pay phones? What’s that?

Families own more than two computers.

We have at least two VCR/DVD players as well as a DVR.

At least one game system is owned…..ours is a PS2 so rather old for the times!

Most teens don’t have jobs. (But not for the lack of trying.)

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Have we failed our children? Have we given them more than we should? Have we “spoiled” them into thinking they only deserve the best?

I worry about the future of our children. Will they strive to be more? Or will they expect it to be handed to them like everything else?

I am sure our parents said the same thing but as I was just told by someone younger than I….

Times are different now.

But are they?

Or have we made it that way? Have we given into the pressures that life hands us?

What do you think?

A Dark and Rainy Night...

The time has come,
the time is near
to retell a story
of a day full of cheer.

Halloween arrived
after much anticipation.
Who knew we’d have such
yucky precipitation?

But let’s start from the beginning
which really must be
from Friday night when
carving we did see.

Three pumpkins were created
with the help of the teens.
Pumpkin guts and knives
did create such a scene.





What awesome pumpkins
the kids did create
by working together,
oh my, isn’t it great?




Begging day did
finally arrive
Much to the delight of those
near the age of five.

After the arrival of friends
and pizza for dinner,
Costumes were donned
to make the day a winner.



The boy decided to join
in the game.
With the help of the girlfriend,
a rock star, he became.



Old mom was just mom,
but friends dressed up too.
Check out the pilot and flapper
who joined our fair zoo.



Toss in their son
with a scary, green face
We were ready to go and
knock place to place.

Armed with candy buckets
and adult drinks in our hands,
out the door we headed
as one great big band.

When what should our bodies
feel from the sky?
Rain! How can that be?
Oh me, me, oh my my.

Girls complained from the get-go,
I am cold, I am wet.
I want to go home!
Mom cries, No, not yet!

We managed to make it
through two of our streets
before we decided to
head home for treats.

Loot is unloaded,
trading begins.
What will you give me,
another kid grins!



Another Halloween has now
passed us by,
But memories will linger
until the next time.

Slackin' Away The Days

I came to the conclusion today that we’ve turned into a bunch of slackers with daddy out of town.

What? You don’t believe me? Well then, let me give you some examples.

No one folds the laundry. We just dig through baskets of clean clothes to find what we need. It’s a challenge and so much fun.

Anything possible gets loaded in the dishwasher so we cut down on washing by hand. After all, who wants to do that?

To make things even simpler, we use paper plates when we can.

Do you believe me yet? No?

Wait, there’s more.

At least twice a week, we eat dinner in our jammies. I’ve even had mine on as early as 5pm. Shh….

Our background music during dinner is often The Wonder Pets. Yup. Alex just loves those nights.

Dinners tend to be quick, easy, and kid-friendly. Who has time for all the whining about the food?

Toys are scattered about the kitchen and living room. The playroom is a disaster.

Got the picture?

Now, just so you know I’m not a total slacker, I do need to point out that we are wearing clean clothes (although they might be wrinkled), everyone has showered, floors are swept, and no one has been late for school.

Every so often, the urge hits me to clean something up.

I know, I know.
(Can’t you just see my eyes rolling??)

Everyone knows stepping over toys is so invigorating. If you make a poor step, you never know what may happen. Keeps your adrenaline going, doesn’t it?

But alas, tonight was one of those nights. I’d had enough.

Put the girls into action cleaning up their mess.

Or so I thought.

Who brought this book in here?

Not me!

Who got out this game?

Not me!

Who drew on this paper?

Not me!

Do you get the picture? Do you see why slacking can be a good thing? I can avoid all this drama in my life.

If I ever get my hands on this “Not Me” character, we’re going to have some words. And it won’t be pretty.

After all, “Not Me” has lived in this house now for over 18 years. He/She should know better by now.

Life as we know it.....

Forgive me readers for I have sinned. It’s been three weeks since my last update.

What can I say? Life is leaving me in the dust.

Well, that and I’m old. Time seems to fly.

Especially when your clock decides to change the time every thirty seconds.

That one really blew me away. I couldn’t figure out why it was so dark outside when the clock read 9:15am.

But I digress…..

Daddy left us two weeks ago for a six week business trip to Asia. Yep, you read that right. Six weeks. But it’s nothing like our military who are deployed for months….

Speaking of which, my brother just returned two days ago from a six month deployment as the commander of the USS Arleigh Burke. We’re hoping my brother in law will return from Iraq in the next two months, so all will be right with our world.

Oh, oh, oh, and my sister took her boys to Europe for a month to tour and meet up with their dad (who is stationed in Iraq) and just returned home as well.

For those of us stuck stateside, life continued along its usual enthralling path. With a few diversions, of course.

Diversion 1: Abby

Abby had the great experience of Turning Five. Oh my. She talked about it for days, weeks, even months. The magic day finally arrived. The smile on her face said it all…





We celebrated at home with all six of us……although two of the six were via Skype. But we did our best! Our sweet baby had a wonderful day.

Diversion 2: Anna Grace

Anna Grace always leads us to questions…..Where did you get that? Why didn’t you eat lunch? Did you pull any sticks today? Did you lose any points? What do you mean you are making money? Who did you call? What did you do to your sister? You said what??

Yep, every day is always interesting.

But the look on her face is always so angelic.



Don’t let it fool you.

Diversion 3: Alex

Alex is our “be all you can be for the minimum amount of work” kind of kid. Don’t get me wrong. He has good grades but….he’s the kind of kid who will calculate the lowest grade he needs to get on something and still get an A in the class. He’s going to push me over the edge one day.

But he is giving his all to soccer….even if some of the other kids are not. He had a game the other day in 49 degree weather with a strong, steady wind. The girls and I were in attendance.

To answer your question, no it was not fun. Although the pictures may say otherwise.




When I downloaded the pictures and compared them to last season, it hit me that he has really grown up. Such changes….




Diversion 4: Katie

Katie has been struggling to find her place in this world. The best laid plans tend to go awry at times. We’ve hit that point. She is pursuing a change in schools for the spring semester. Living in the Big City isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. So, a change is in store. We are hoping for spring semester but are realistic that it may not happen due to housing shortages.

We’ve seen both she and Catlan several times since August. But when they arrive in the driveway, who do the girls go running to see? Katie? Nope. Catlan.



Toss in the flu, two broken cell phones, Celsius to Farehheit conversion (ugh…math), a huge texting bill (if we didn’t have unlimited texting…whew!), Nick Jr. and all that it entails, no sleep, lunch twice with friends and no kids (!!!), issues at school, Smurfs, college tours, first grade boyfriends, and so much more.

And life continues……

Let’s just hope I survive.

Outtakes from the Week.....

Which girl said….

I’m going to look at my Facebook…I mean, my yearbook.

(Anna Grace. Gee, do you think she’s heard the word Facebook too many times?)

My initials are A.G. M. J. R.

(Anna Grace. Her name is Anna Grace Meizhen. The “z” sounds like a “j” so she has started doing her initials to match!)

Did you already take out your eyetacts?

(Abby. Eyetacts! Cracked me up. The child has language issues…I just can’t seem to get it diagnosed.)

In a written note: I like you because you make my heart super happy. Because I just like you.

(Anna Grace even after I fussed at her the night before.)

My toenails are so long they can climb trees.

(Abby again. Thanks to daddy’s training.)

Lumbo, lumbo, lumbo…

(Abby…..see above. Language issues. )

Toss in mom thinking one of the Blue’s Clue’s book characters was smoking (Katie insists he had a thermometer in his mouth), ironing jammies for Pajama Day tomorrow, and reliving Shaun Cassidy days thanks to XM, it’s been a week.

Include the College Kid home with the flu, the High Schooler doing the minimum he has to do for the grade, soccer two nights, church one night, and last minute dinners, it’s been a week.

Add in complaining soccer moms, tons of special ed paperwork, and a burned finger.

It’s been a week.

But life is always so interesting, isn’t it?

Sticks, Acorns, and Church....Oh My!

Sticks? Acorns? Church?

Say what?

What do sticks and acorns have to do with church?

Well, today was our annual church picnic. We had an outdoor Mass followed by lots of food, fellowship, and games.

Key word: outdoor.

You already know how hard it is to control my double trouble duo within the confines of the church building. Now give them the freedom of the outdoors, access to nature, and people galore…..

Oh my.

Chairs set up, rules discussed, Mass begun.

And guess who was in time out within five minutes?

Yep. Anna Grace.

In time out, in the parking lot, on the curb. Lovely.

Ran into my friend Tara who was also headed toward the parking lot. However, her daughter is one. Mine is six. Do you see a problem here?

After fifteen minutes, Anna Grace decided she was ready to return and try again.

Of course she wanted to go back. Just think of all the sticks, twigs, acorns, and dirt she could access.

The remainder of Mass was spent trying to keep the girls in their chairs, stopping acorn throwing at unsuspecting parishioners, ensuring no one got stabbed by a stick, and generally trying to maintain control.

Outdoor church is great in theory.

As long as you don’t have high maintenance kids like we do.

A Visit to Church

I admit it. I am chicken. I dislike taking my little girls anywhere that might be challenging. The store, the mall, the library, church….well, you get the picture. Life can be very difficult at times.

Hmm. Let’s rephrase that. Life can be challenging most of the time.

Typically when we attend Mass, I have to leave during the service with a short person due to behavior. Usually that short person in question is Anna Grace.

Now, others around us will say the girls are just fine. But to me…..we have lots of work to do. Quiet whispers vs. loud ones; not needing a diversion such as pencils or crayons, no pouting, etc.

Today, we actually all attended Mass together. I was feeling brave.

We went armed with snacks already in our tummies and a notebook to write anything to our hearts desire.

But in that short hour, we had lots of funnies happen. I know you are just so shocked. My kids? Do something funny? Nah.

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Abby noticed a statue of Jesus at one point and said, “Daddy, who is that?”

“Abs, who is on the cross up front?

“Jesus”

“That’s who is on the statue is too.”

Abby in complete amazement…..”You mean Jesus got big? He was a little boy too? Not just a baby?”

Hmmm. Guess we’ve missed some major teaching points, huh?

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Anna Grace spent the entire time making a list of her family and friends. I noted that Katie was way down the list. She had Mommy, Daddy, Anna Grace, Abby, and Alex at the top. Then lots of friends before remembering Katie. Made me sad.

But then after dinner she asked to Skype with Katie. Whew.

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Abby spent all of Mass tugging at her underwear. Why? What is the issue? Turns out she was wearing them backwards. That would make me tug at mine too.

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Dave was a Lector today which meant he did one of the Bible readings. Guess who made faces at daddy while he was reading? I will give you one clue. She is six.

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Abby loves her big brudder. At one point during church, she wanted to sit on his lap. He refused to pick her up. Poor baby started to cry…...quietly. I smacked him (yep, I did), so he picked her up. She grudgingly agreed and somewhat smiled. Later during the Sign of Peace (hugs to family time), both little girls grabbed him to be picked up and kissed-----before mom and dad got kisses. Awww.

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Anna Grace begged to sit down front today. “Daddy told me that Katie and Alex got to sit in the front when they were sweet.” Ah. That is the key point. They were sweet. You prove it to me a few times and we’ll consider it!

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All this in just one short hour. Whew. Next week is a picnic and outdoor Mass. I think we’ll be okay then…..except for the leaves, twigs, acorns, and everything else that is a diversion.

Sigh.

But we’ll survive, right??

An Addendum.....

When I last left you, we were enjoying frozen pizza for dinner.

Well, it wasn’t frozen when we ate it……

Pizza eaten, mouth burned from the aforementioned pizza, dishes cleaned, lunches made, clothes ironed. Whew.

All was calm until I got a yell from Dave upstairs....

We are out of laundry detergent.

No we’re not. I just bought some. Geesh, can’t you find anything?

Upstairs I went ready to prove him wrong once again. I just love doing that.

I reached the laundry room and picked up the jug of detergent to show him.

He said, it's fabric softener.

You’ve got to be kidding me. How on earth did I manage to do that?

Downstairs I trudged grumbling to myself the whole way.

On the way, I stopped and told Alex that the loads of wash he just did weren’t washed with detergent but fabric softener.

His response?

Uggh. Are you serious? But that explains why my clothes have been so soft.

Welcome to my world.

Two Hours of My Life

Today I woke up organized. It happens so rarely that I took note of the event. You see, I actually thought ahead toward dinner, even though it was 6:00 in the morning, and took chicken out to thaw. Whoo hoo!

Off to school. A day spent molding little minds. A day spent with many funnies. After all, if you don’t laugh, you may cry.

The end of the day arrived. I texted Alex to tell him I had arranged for him to ride a different bus back to my school. By making this change, he would arrive twenty minutes earlier, thus we’re home earlier, we get homework done earlier…..you get the picture.

At 3:45, my phone rings. Where do I meet the bus? When does it show up? What? I can’t hear you. What?

Message relayed, acknowledged by teen. Whew.

At 4:00, my phone rings. Mom? Umm. I missed the bus.

Say what? How did you do that?

Well, I walked to the front of the school to find a friend. When I came back, I saw the bus pulling away.

Great. Just great.

Off to the high school I trekked all while calling my son some not so nice names. I told him I worry that he’ll be living with us when he’s 30. His response? I thought you were selling me to the Army.

Yep. He really said that.

I’m scared.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Drop off the kids and run to Kroger for a few items for our chicken dinner.

Home again, home again, jiggity jog. Started Alex to work on his Stupid School Project…only to find out that the paint I brought home is too watery for the papier mache’ mask he has to create.

Yay for me.

Back to the store for different paint. Called my mom at the same time so made good use of my time. See, it wasn’t a total waste, right?

Home once more, but…….not so fast…..

Paint delivered. Paint is great. Glue? Non existent.

I’m thinking a certain college student I know absconded with the glue when she left. And neglected to let me know.

Sigh.

Store again, store again, what a wonderful day.

Might as well pick up other stuff while I’m here…for the third time.

Now that I’ve just spent two hours of my life going to the store, guess what’s now for dinner?

Frozen pizza.

We’ll try the chicken tomorrow night.

Only in Katie Land

Every so often, it is our duty as parents to share a story that might not reflect the best features in our child. Seriously. It’s in the parenting manual.

Oh, you didn’t get the manual?

Me neither. I just make it up as I go along.

I’ve posted several funnies about Abby, Anna Grace and Alex but not so many of Katie. This one I just couldn’t resist.

I picked her up on Saturday to return home for Anna Grace’s birthday party. Yes, the one that was held a month after her birthday.

(See above as a reminder. I make up the manual as I go along.)

On the way home, she shared a story with me from earlier in the week. It really worried me. You know, she’s living in Atlanta, in the CITY, near all kinds of questionable people and events, without parent supervision, without male accompaniment since The Boyfriend is at a different school…..you get the picture.

Did I scare you?

Nah, nothing scary. Well, unless you are me.

She was at Georgia Tech one night for a football game. Catlan, The Boyfriend, wasn’t there yet so she hung out with their friend Andrew from high school. While in Andrew’s room, she needed to use the bathroom. Well, he’s in an older style dorm where you actually have to share bathrooms on the hallway.

You know, like when we were in college.

Anyhow, being on an all male floor, they went searching for the guest bathroom. I forget the issue, but whatever it was, she could not use that bathroom. So, she made Andrew promise to stand guard while she used the boys’ restroom on his floor.

After finishing up business (ahem), she attempted to zip up her skirt. And it didn’t work. Tried again. No luck. It was stuck.

She called out to Andrew to help. Poor Andrew had to go into the bathroom to help her zip up her skirt. Evidently, it took some time to get it zipped. She just kept thinking how bad it would look if someone walked in.

I listened to the whole story and then said….

Why didn’t you just lift up your skirt to use the bathroom? You don’t have to unzip anything.

She looked at me in complete amazement and said….

That never occurred to me.

Do you see why I’m scared?

Better Late Than Never.....

Over a month ago, Anna Grace turned the ripe old age of six. Yep, one more than five but one less than seven. Problem was she turned six just as school started.

Do you know how hard it is to plan a party when you don’t know your new classmates, mom is struggling to start a new year in a new position, Dad is out of town, and life is nutso?

Well, let me tell you….it is downright impossible to do that. Therefore, I told her we’d do a party near the end of August.

School continued to interfere and the end of August came and went. Bad mommy.

I finally realized the error of my ways and scheduled a party for her at the local bowling alley.

Yes, I was copping out of doing it at my house. I’m chicken. But this was also her first “real party” with friends.

You see, I have deprived my girls and have never had a “friend” party. Previous parties have just been family and our super duper old neighbors. That’s it.

I know. I’m a sorry mom. My big kids keep reminding me of that. On a regular basis.

Anyhow, the party was planned and kids invited. It was on the calendar, I knew it was coming up, but I forgot to order a cake. Yep, a major mistake. Thankfully, Kroger can throw together a cake in a pretty quick manner. Whew.

Birthday party day arrives. Katie is picked up from the airport (from school via the Atlanta subway system), cake retrieved, bows put in, and off we go.

Glow in the dark bowling. How cool!



But do you know how hard it is to run crowd control on ten kids in a bowling alley? With the lights off? Holey Moley.

Great fun was had by all. Bowling, pizza, cake, and video games. How much better can life get?







Friends, friends, and more friends……






and a surprise visit from The Boyfriend. I had told Anna Grace that Catlan couldn’t make it today. But he showed up at the last minute…..plans changed. She went running across the room and leaped into his arms.



Party time done, presents opened, The College Kid driven back to the airport to catch the train to school, and mom collapsed.

I think I’m too old to have little kids.

Nah, I’m too old to have little kid birthday parties.

Do you think they’ll notice if we skip all parties until they are 16?

Back in the Saddle Again

Could I mean……..

*teaching another child to drive?

*listening to a beginning reader read me a story?

*having my heart break as I relive college drama?

*experiencing the wonderment in a child’s eyes?

All of those would be true. But…..not why I am finally back in the saddle again.

You see, I have become one of those spoiled people out there who really rely on the internet. I complete school work, keep in touch with family and friends, play, pay bills, read the news and weather, play some more….you get the idea.

This week? I have had NO internet. Yep, none.

To say I have not been a nice person to live with would likely be an understatement.

We made the decision to switch from cable to satellite along with adding a DSL line…primarily to save money. Sounds easy enough. Except that our local company could never figure out how to turn on the DSL line. Nope. Not a clue.

Monday….it will be on today.

Tuesday…..you’ll be on by midnight tonight.

Wednesday….you’ve been pushed back to tomorrow morning.

Thursday…..your order has been delayed until today…your modem will arrive next week.

You’ve got to be kidding me. We placed the order almost TWO weeks ago.

Fortunately for them, the line became active last night. And, our good friend who works for the company in question supplied us with the necessary equipment to get started.

Thank goodness or you may have witnessed an extreme hissy fit.

I was able to find a calming point when I learned how to use my husband’s blackberry. Hmmm, methinks I need one now.

The one plus to having no internet this week?

My house is totally clean. Guest room ready.

Anyone want to come visit?

Adventures with The College Kid

Three weeks ago, we dropped off The College Kid in her dorm. We’ve actually seen her a few times since then. But, of course, we only live 40 minutes away. An easy trip into the city.

Well, late Friday afternoon, she decided she needed a break and wanted to come home. Faithful daddy stopped by her dorm on his way home from work to retrieve her. It’s been a little rough getting started in classes, learning to negotiate with roommates, and struggling with not being with The Boyfriend on a daily basis.

The %&$* hit the fan on Friday and she wanted needed to come home.

Been there, done that.

She appeared in the kitchen with a full laundry basket of dirty clothes and her backpack. Got it. Expected that. She then realized she’d brought no underwear for the next day. Guess she packed in a hurry, huh?

Uh. Laundry basket. Full of clothes.

Oh yeah. I can do laundry!

Crisis averted. Whew.

The next two days were spent doing a whole lot of nothing. She did laundry, played with her sisters, joined us for dinner, etc. A nice, quiet weekend. Just what the doctor ordered…for everyone. Except those who were at a soccer tournament but that was not me. This time.

We made plans to return to college today after picking up her roommate who also came home for the weekend. I hopped in the shower to get ready to leave for the day and found….

I had no shampoo and no razor.

Guess coming home from school does not involve packing necessities too. Geesh.

Loaded the car, picked up the The Roommate, and headed into the city. While driving, the three of us older people were chatting while the little ones were in the backseat playing games. They started to play a rhyming game. Let’s rhyme words with duck.

Duck, tuck, suck, yuck….guess what came next?

Yep.

It was all we could do to not laugh. I didn’t say anything to Anna Grace because she had no idea what she’d said. Plus, they’d moved on to another word.

Oh my.

We reached the dorm, hauled in all the stuff, and promptly sent Katie and her roommate off to get lunch while the girls colored in her room. They made several pictures which are now decorating the refrigerator with the mandatory magnets.

Lunch returned. Coke poured…….and leaked.

I poured my coke into a cup from their cabinet only to find that it was completely cracked. Coke poured from all angles much to the amusement of the girls. Talk about a sticky mess.

But hey, it’s not my house!

Lunch done, I grabbed the little ones to head home. Quick goodbye, see you next weekend for Anna Grace’s birthday party (a month late), and we hit the road.

On the two block drive to the interstate, a man approached the car asking for money to cover a $450 medical co-pay. I told him I could not help. I’m sorry.

Once driving again, Anna Grace said,

“But mommy, you have money in your purse. You just told him a lie.”

I know, I know. But I can’t help everyone on the streets. I have helped others and hope they are passing it along.

But how do I explain that to a six year old?

Such are the adventures we experience when in the Big City with The College Kid. There are more to come, I’m certain.

The Past Twenty-Four Hours

Well, I’ve made a mental note, as well as lots of post-it notes, to remind me to resume blogging on a regular basis.

I know, I know. Regular basis?

Did you enjoy your chuckle? Hope so.

In any case, the past twenty-four hours have been pretty interesting. More so that usual.

Abby announced last night that she was going to be a butterfly when she grew up. Hmm. Wonder how she plans to do that? When I mentioned she can’t be a butterfly, she said, “Okay, then I’ll be Ariel. “

Hope she finds some kind of regular job because she won’t be living with me!
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Anna Grace was excited about school lunch today because it was hamburgers shaped like diamonds.

Say what?

Well, the announcements said the hamburgers were like Krystals.

Ah.
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Dave has a carpool set up with some women who live in our area. It’s great since they commute almost an hour each way to work. Tonight during dinner, Dave commented that he got to drive his friend’s Audi home from work today.

Alex quickly commented…..”I have an innie.”

Yep. Welcome to my life with clueless girls and men.

(And yes, I do know how that sentence reads. Hee hee!)
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I realized during dinner that Katie did not contact me at all today. Wow! But yesterday I received an email from her at 3:54 from her new (used) i-touch. Then I remembered later that at 3:54 she should have been in Political Science.

So, was she in class but emailing me or not at class at all???

The sixty-four thousand dollar question.
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But the icing on the cake came from me. I was in a rush yesterday in between classes but quickly checked email. I received one from Dave about Alex’s soccer practice being moved to a neighboring town due to field closures on our fields. I was not happy since it really threw a kink into our evening. I quickly replied with not so favorable comments about the coach and his decisions.

Ten hours later, while Alex and Dave were at practice, I was cleaning out my work email in and outboxes. I was a bit surprised to find an email addressed to the soccer coach.

Huh? I didn’t email him.

Turns out, I did.

Yep. The email I thought I sent to Dave actually went to the coach.

I clicked on the wrong email when I pushed reply.

Lesson to remember: double check to whom you are replying before clicking send.

I hope your past twenty-four hours have been less eventful!

My Life is a Comedy.....

If my life is such a comedy, where is my laugh track? I want one. That will be my book title……when I finally start writing.

Life has been pretty stressful lately with the start to school for four of us and start of college for another. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t had our funnies.

Here are some outtakes from the recent days….

Abby: Mommy, I want some slimy with my sandwich.
Mom: Slimy?
Abby: Yep.
Mom: Oh, salami.

Mom: Anna Grace, what did you eat for lunch today at school?
AG: Cake.
Mom: Only cake?
AG: Yes, I picked the same lunch choice as you but didn’t like it.
Mom: Baby, choose what you like and not what I pick!

Abby at school: Miss Anne, when you have a minute, can you please get me some more pancakes?
Yes! The child is learning!! If only her big sister would follow along.

Abby to daddy: I’m watching you. (complete with the fingers on the eyes before pointing to dad)

Anna Grace: I likedid that kind before but don’t anymore. (and the kid can READ so well!)

Abby to dad: You are too old to think. (note: daddy did not like this comment)

Abby: My big brudder makes me milkhakes. (not a typo….Abs can’t say her /s/ sound)

First grade + game night with daddy = exhaustion. Ten minutes in the car circling the neighborhood. Asleep. Perhaps not a funny but a reality!

Scenes from Friday: Pulled up after school to see Katie and Catlan in the driveway. Two little girls screaming from the car.....Katie!! Catlan!!! They were only home for the night but made two little girls happy.

There you have it. A snapshot into our lives from the past 36 hours. I need to start keeping track of our funnies more often. But when I do, I hear……

Mom is writing stuff down again. Must be for Facebook or the blog. Good grief....

What is College?

When you are six…..

College is the place where your big sister goes to live.

College means the big sister’s room is now clean and empty.

College means having your own computer.

College is far away.

College means the teens that are always around are now gone.

But what the six year old didn’t know was that college is also school.

School? Katie is going to school?

So began the explanation of how Katie lives in an apartment with her friends and walks to another building to go to school.

Complete puzzlement on that one.

How do you explain college to a six year old?

You don’t. You have to show her in person.

Today we made the drive into Atlanta to find “college.”

Oh yes, and to see Katie too. I had warned her we’d need to come up within a week of her leaving so the little girls….and mom….could see where she lives now.



We pulled up outside her building and parked in what Katie calls the ghetto parking lot. Evidently you just put your money inside the slot marked with what parking space you chose. If you fail to do so, you may return and find your car booted.

Lovely. Welcome to Atlanta.

Since we cannot enter her secured building without her presence, we waited ever so patiently in the aforementioned ghetto lot.

And then she appeared…..much to the delight of two short people. But, they were also fascinated by the large puddle lurking nearby so didn’t show quite the excitement I had expected.

Now, to haul all the requested items into the building. Hmmm. Had she not considered the fact that we had a bunch of stuff to carry?

Where were the back-ups?

Upstairs eating.

Well, tell them to stop eating!

In a short time, Katie’s roommate, Natalie, and The Boyfriend, Catlan, arrived. Cat does not attend the same school but was there visiting as he is not that far away. I had things to deliver to him from his mom so told him he’d better still be there when we showed up!

The Beverly Hillbillies, aka the eight of us, trooped into the building with Wal-Mart bags hanging off our arms, lugging chairs and barstools, with two Chinese girls very energetically leading the way.

Yep, I’m sure we were a sight to behold.

Did you know college is a hotel? I guess it would appear that way to a six year old. But, it’s a hotel with no maid service. And no cook.

But mom is good and brought along food as well as the George Foreman grill. Perhaps they’ll eat more than spaghettios and ramen noodles for dinner now!

Food put away. Check. Chairs assembled. Check. Bounced on Katie’s bed. Check. Opened the new printer. Check.





Time for lunch!

The Hillbillies headed out the door to begin the walk to Hard Rock Café. You see, Katie’s school is located right in Atlanta. To get to class or food, you walk on the city streets. Past the lovely odors of the sewers and other such great things. Past the ever so generous people trying to give you a flower in exchange for money. Past the homeless guy asleep on a bench.

Nah. We didn’t see a homeless guy. Truly. At least not in the portion of the city we walked today.

After only a few short city blocks and lots of whining, we arrived at our destination.



Evidently a party of seven is hard to seat so we waited, and waited……for about five minutes. Looks like it was longer, huh?




Seated. Lunch ordered. Coloring and catching up on the news.





Both college teens are happy at school, meeting new friends, and getting into the groove of homework and sports. Both are staying out of trouble, focusing on priorities, and enjoying their new freedom.

What more can you ask?

Lunch done…headed back toward campus. Well, back to the dorm.



Being an urban campus, everything is all over the place! I love the city but living there?? Not my cup of tea….nor Cat’s!

One last look at the room (before curtains!),



at the view from her window (I-85, yippee!),



the kitchen which needs a cook,



and hugs from two of my most favorite teens….

we were gone.

But now we know all about college.

Perhaps we'll sleep better at night.....