Sticks, Acorns, and Church....Oh My!

Sticks? Acorns? Church?

Say what?

What do sticks and acorns have to do with church?

Well, today was our annual church picnic. We had an outdoor Mass followed by lots of food, fellowship, and games.

Key word: outdoor.

You already know how hard it is to control my double trouble duo within the confines of the church building. Now give them the freedom of the outdoors, access to nature, and people galore…..

Oh my.

Chairs set up, rules discussed, Mass begun.

And guess who was in time out within five minutes?

Yep. Anna Grace.

In time out, in the parking lot, on the curb. Lovely.

Ran into my friend Tara who was also headed toward the parking lot. However, her daughter is one. Mine is six. Do you see a problem here?

After fifteen minutes, Anna Grace decided she was ready to return and try again.

Of course she wanted to go back. Just think of all the sticks, twigs, acorns, and dirt she could access.

The remainder of Mass was spent trying to keep the girls in their chairs, stopping acorn throwing at unsuspecting parishioners, ensuring no one got stabbed by a stick, and generally trying to maintain control.

Outdoor church is great in theory.

As long as you don’t have high maintenance kids like we do.

A Visit to Church

I admit it. I am chicken. I dislike taking my little girls anywhere that might be challenging. The store, the mall, the library, church….well, you get the picture. Life can be very difficult at times.

Hmm. Let’s rephrase that. Life can be challenging most of the time.

Typically when we attend Mass, I have to leave during the service with a short person due to behavior. Usually that short person in question is Anna Grace.

Now, others around us will say the girls are just fine. But to me…..we have lots of work to do. Quiet whispers vs. loud ones; not needing a diversion such as pencils or crayons, no pouting, etc.

Today, we actually all attended Mass together. I was feeling brave.

We went armed with snacks already in our tummies and a notebook to write anything to our hearts desire.

But in that short hour, we had lots of funnies happen. I know you are just so shocked. My kids? Do something funny? Nah.

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Abby noticed a statue of Jesus at one point and said, “Daddy, who is that?”

“Abs, who is on the cross up front?

“Jesus”

“That’s who is on the statue is too.”

Abby in complete amazement…..”You mean Jesus got big? He was a little boy too? Not just a baby?”

Hmmm. Guess we’ve missed some major teaching points, huh?

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Anna Grace spent the entire time making a list of her family and friends. I noted that Katie was way down the list. She had Mommy, Daddy, Anna Grace, Abby, and Alex at the top. Then lots of friends before remembering Katie. Made me sad.

But then after dinner she asked to Skype with Katie. Whew.

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Abby spent all of Mass tugging at her underwear. Why? What is the issue? Turns out she was wearing them backwards. That would make me tug at mine too.

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Dave was a Lector today which meant he did one of the Bible readings. Guess who made faces at daddy while he was reading? I will give you one clue. She is six.

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Abby loves her big brudder. At one point during church, she wanted to sit on his lap. He refused to pick her up. Poor baby started to cry…...quietly. I smacked him (yep, I did), so he picked her up. She grudgingly agreed and somewhat smiled. Later during the Sign of Peace (hugs to family time), both little girls grabbed him to be picked up and kissed-----before mom and dad got kisses. Awww.

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Anna Grace begged to sit down front today. “Daddy told me that Katie and Alex got to sit in the front when they were sweet.” Ah. That is the key point. They were sweet. You prove it to me a few times and we’ll consider it!

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All this in just one short hour. Whew. Next week is a picnic and outdoor Mass. I think we’ll be okay then…..except for the leaves, twigs, acorns, and everything else that is a diversion.

Sigh.

But we’ll survive, right??

An Addendum.....

When I last left you, we were enjoying frozen pizza for dinner.

Well, it wasn’t frozen when we ate it……

Pizza eaten, mouth burned from the aforementioned pizza, dishes cleaned, lunches made, clothes ironed. Whew.

All was calm until I got a yell from Dave upstairs....

We are out of laundry detergent.

No we’re not. I just bought some. Geesh, can’t you find anything?

Upstairs I went ready to prove him wrong once again. I just love doing that.

I reached the laundry room and picked up the jug of detergent to show him.

He said, it's fabric softener.

You’ve got to be kidding me. How on earth did I manage to do that?

Downstairs I trudged grumbling to myself the whole way.

On the way, I stopped and told Alex that the loads of wash he just did weren’t washed with detergent but fabric softener.

His response?

Uggh. Are you serious? But that explains why my clothes have been so soft.

Welcome to my world.

Two Hours of My Life

Today I woke up organized. It happens so rarely that I took note of the event. You see, I actually thought ahead toward dinner, even though it was 6:00 in the morning, and took chicken out to thaw. Whoo hoo!

Off to school. A day spent molding little minds. A day spent with many funnies. After all, if you don’t laugh, you may cry.

The end of the day arrived. I texted Alex to tell him I had arranged for him to ride a different bus back to my school. By making this change, he would arrive twenty minutes earlier, thus we’re home earlier, we get homework done earlier…..you get the picture.

At 3:45, my phone rings. Where do I meet the bus? When does it show up? What? I can’t hear you. What?

Message relayed, acknowledged by teen. Whew.

At 4:00, my phone rings. Mom? Umm. I missed the bus.

Say what? How did you do that?

Well, I walked to the front of the school to find a friend. When I came back, I saw the bus pulling away.

Great. Just great.

Off to the high school I trekked all while calling my son some not so nice names. I told him I worry that he’ll be living with us when he’s 30. His response? I thought you were selling me to the Army.

Yep. He really said that.

I’m scared.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Drop off the kids and run to Kroger for a few items for our chicken dinner.

Home again, home again, jiggity jog. Started Alex to work on his Stupid School Project…only to find out that the paint I brought home is too watery for the papier mache’ mask he has to create.

Yay for me.

Back to the store for different paint. Called my mom at the same time so made good use of my time. See, it wasn’t a total waste, right?

Home once more, but…….not so fast…..

Paint delivered. Paint is great. Glue? Non existent.

I’m thinking a certain college student I know absconded with the glue when she left. And neglected to let me know.

Sigh.

Store again, store again, what a wonderful day.

Might as well pick up other stuff while I’m here…for the third time.

Now that I’ve just spent two hours of my life going to the store, guess what’s now for dinner?

Frozen pizza.

We’ll try the chicken tomorrow night.

Only in Katie Land

Every so often, it is our duty as parents to share a story that might not reflect the best features in our child. Seriously. It’s in the parenting manual.

Oh, you didn’t get the manual?

Me neither. I just make it up as I go along.

I’ve posted several funnies about Abby, Anna Grace and Alex but not so many of Katie. This one I just couldn’t resist.

I picked her up on Saturday to return home for Anna Grace’s birthday party. Yes, the one that was held a month after her birthday.

(See above as a reminder. I make up the manual as I go along.)

On the way home, she shared a story with me from earlier in the week. It really worried me. You know, she’s living in Atlanta, in the CITY, near all kinds of questionable people and events, without parent supervision, without male accompaniment since The Boyfriend is at a different school…..you get the picture.

Did I scare you?

Nah, nothing scary. Well, unless you are me.

She was at Georgia Tech one night for a football game. Catlan, The Boyfriend, wasn’t there yet so she hung out with their friend Andrew from high school. While in Andrew’s room, she needed to use the bathroom. Well, he’s in an older style dorm where you actually have to share bathrooms on the hallway.

You know, like when we were in college.

Anyhow, being on an all male floor, they went searching for the guest bathroom. I forget the issue, but whatever it was, she could not use that bathroom. So, she made Andrew promise to stand guard while she used the boys’ restroom on his floor.

After finishing up business (ahem), she attempted to zip up her skirt. And it didn’t work. Tried again. No luck. It was stuck.

She called out to Andrew to help. Poor Andrew had to go into the bathroom to help her zip up her skirt. Evidently, it took some time to get it zipped. She just kept thinking how bad it would look if someone walked in.

I listened to the whole story and then said….

Why didn’t you just lift up your skirt to use the bathroom? You don’t have to unzip anything.

She looked at me in complete amazement and said….

That never occurred to me.

Do you see why I’m scared?

Better Late Than Never.....

Over a month ago, Anna Grace turned the ripe old age of six. Yep, one more than five but one less than seven. Problem was she turned six just as school started.

Do you know how hard it is to plan a party when you don’t know your new classmates, mom is struggling to start a new year in a new position, Dad is out of town, and life is nutso?

Well, let me tell you….it is downright impossible to do that. Therefore, I told her we’d do a party near the end of August.

School continued to interfere and the end of August came and went. Bad mommy.

I finally realized the error of my ways and scheduled a party for her at the local bowling alley.

Yes, I was copping out of doing it at my house. I’m chicken. But this was also her first “real party” with friends.

You see, I have deprived my girls and have never had a “friend” party. Previous parties have just been family and our super duper old neighbors. That’s it.

I know. I’m a sorry mom. My big kids keep reminding me of that. On a regular basis.

Anyhow, the party was planned and kids invited. It was on the calendar, I knew it was coming up, but I forgot to order a cake. Yep, a major mistake. Thankfully, Kroger can throw together a cake in a pretty quick manner. Whew.

Birthday party day arrives. Katie is picked up from the airport (from school via the Atlanta subway system), cake retrieved, bows put in, and off we go.

Glow in the dark bowling. How cool!



But do you know how hard it is to run crowd control on ten kids in a bowling alley? With the lights off? Holey Moley.

Great fun was had by all. Bowling, pizza, cake, and video games. How much better can life get?







Friends, friends, and more friends……






and a surprise visit from The Boyfriend. I had told Anna Grace that Catlan couldn’t make it today. But he showed up at the last minute…..plans changed. She went running across the room and leaped into his arms.



Party time done, presents opened, The College Kid driven back to the airport to catch the train to school, and mom collapsed.

I think I’m too old to have little kids.

Nah, I’m too old to have little kid birthday parties.

Do you think they’ll notice if we skip all parties until they are 16?

Back in the Saddle Again

Could I mean……..

*teaching another child to drive?

*listening to a beginning reader read me a story?

*having my heart break as I relive college drama?

*experiencing the wonderment in a child’s eyes?

All of those would be true. But…..not why I am finally back in the saddle again.

You see, I have become one of those spoiled people out there who really rely on the internet. I complete school work, keep in touch with family and friends, play, pay bills, read the news and weather, play some more….you get the idea.

This week? I have had NO internet. Yep, none.

To say I have not been a nice person to live with would likely be an understatement.

We made the decision to switch from cable to satellite along with adding a DSL line…primarily to save money. Sounds easy enough. Except that our local company could never figure out how to turn on the DSL line. Nope. Not a clue.

Monday….it will be on today.

Tuesday…..you’ll be on by midnight tonight.

Wednesday….you’ve been pushed back to tomorrow morning.

Thursday…..your order has been delayed until today…your modem will arrive next week.

You’ve got to be kidding me. We placed the order almost TWO weeks ago.

Fortunately for them, the line became active last night. And, our good friend who works for the company in question supplied us with the necessary equipment to get started.

Thank goodness or you may have witnessed an extreme hissy fit.

I was able to find a calming point when I learned how to use my husband’s blackberry. Hmmm, methinks I need one now.

The one plus to having no internet this week?

My house is totally clean. Guest room ready.

Anyone want to come visit?

Adventures with The College Kid

Three weeks ago, we dropped off The College Kid in her dorm. We’ve actually seen her a few times since then. But, of course, we only live 40 minutes away. An easy trip into the city.

Well, late Friday afternoon, she decided she needed a break and wanted to come home. Faithful daddy stopped by her dorm on his way home from work to retrieve her. It’s been a little rough getting started in classes, learning to negotiate with roommates, and struggling with not being with The Boyfriend on a daily basis.

The %&$* hit the fan on Friday and she wanted needed to come home.

Been there, done that.

She appeared in the kitchen with a full laundry basket of dirty clothes and her backpack. Got it. Expected that. She then realized she’d brought no underwear for the next day. Guess she packed in a hurry, huh?

Uh. Laundry basket. Full of clothes.

Oh yeah. I can do laundry!

Crisis averted. Whew.

The next two days were spent doing a whole lot of nothing. She did laundry, played with her sisters, joined us for dinner, etc. A nice, quiet weekend. Just what the doctor ordered…for everyone. Except those who were at a soccer tournament but that was not me. This time.

We made plans to return to college today after picking up her roommate who also came home for the weekend. I hopped in the shower to get ready to leave for the day and found….

I had no shampoo and no razor.

Guess coming home from school does not involve packing necessities too. Geesh.

Loaded the car, picked up the The Roommate, and headed into the city. While driving, the three of us older people were chatting while the little ones were in the backseat playing games. They started to play a rhyming game. Let’s rhyme words with duck.

Duck, tuck, suck, yuck….guess what came next?

Yep.

It was all we could do to not laugh. I didn’t say anything to Anna Grace because she had no idea what she’d said. Plus, they’d moved on to another word.

Oh my.

We reached the dorm, hauled in all the stuff, and promptly sent Katie and her roommate off to get lunch while the girls colored in her room. They made several pictures which are now decorating the refrigerator with the mandatory magnets.

Lunch returned. Coke poured…….and leaked.

I poured my coke into a cup from their cabinet only to find that it was completely cracked. Coke poured from all angles much to the amusement of the girls. Talk about a sticky mess.

But hey, it’s not my house!

Lunch done, I grabbed the little ones to head home. Quick goodbye, see you next weekend for Anna Grace’s birthday party (a month late), and we hit the road.

On the two block drive to the interstate, a man approached the car asking for money to cover a $450 medical co-pay. I told him I could not help. I’m sorry.

Once driving again, Anna Grace said,

“But mommy, you have money in your purse. You just told him a lie.”

I know, I know. But I can’t help everyone on the streets. I have helped others and hope they are passing it along.

But how do I explain that to a six year old?

Such are the adventures we experience when in the Big City with The College Kid. There are more to come, I’m certain.

The Past Twenty-Four Hours

Well, I’ve made a mental note, as well as lots of post-it notes, to remind me to resume blogging on a regular basis.

I know, I know. Regular basis?

Did you enjoy your chuckle? Hope so.

In any case, the past twenty-four hours have been pretty interesting. More so that usual.

Abby announced last night that she was going to be a butterfly when she grew up. Hmm. Wonder how she plans to do that? When I mentioned she can’t be a butterfly, she said, “Okay, then I’ll be Ariel. “

Hope she finds some kind of regular job because she won’t be living with me!
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Anna Grace was excited about school lunch today because it was hamburgers shaped like diamonds.

Say what?

Well, the announcements said the hamburgers were like Krystals.

Ah.
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Dave has a carpool set up with some women who live in our area. It’s great since they commute almost an hour each way to work. Tonight during dinner, Dave commented that he got to drive his friend’s Audi home from work today.

Alex quickly commented…..”I have an innie.”

Yep. Welcome to my life with clueless girls and men.

(And yes, I do know how that sentence reads. Hee hee!)
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I realized during dinner that Katie did not contact me at all today. Wow! But yesterday I received an email from her at 3:54 from her new (used) i-touch. Then I remembered later that at 3:54 she should have been in Political Science.

So, was she in class but emailing me or not at class at all???

The sixty-four thousand dollar question.
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But the icing on the cake came from me. I was in a rush yesterday in between classes but quickly checked email. I received one from Dave about Alex’s soccer practice being moved to a neighboring town due to field closures on our fields. I was not happy since it really threw a kink into our evening. I quickly replied with not so favorable comments about the coach and his decisions.

Ten hours later, while Alex and Dave were at practice, I was cleaning out my work email in and outboxes. I was a bit surprised to find an email addressed to the soccer coach.

Huh? I didn’t email him.

Turns out, I did.

Yep. The email I thought I sent to Dave actually went to the coach.

I clicked on the wrong email when I pushed reply.

Lesson to remember: double check to whom you are replying before clicking send.

I hope your past twenty-four hours have been less eventful!