Fair? What's that?

Think back to your childhood…..even if it was a long time ago. Are you there yet? Keep going back….okay, you can stop now.

If you had siblings, you can relate to my story.

When we were growing up, everything had to be perfectly fair. If someone had a cherry in their fruit cocktail, all three of us needed to have one. If someone had ice cream for dessert, all three bowls better have looked pretty equal. If someone had a cookie, the others better be allowed to also.

You get the picture. I’m sure your own kids do the same thing.

My house is no different. But today’s issue took the top prize.

The girls just had lunch. One had pizza, the other a turkey sandwich. In my quest to not clean, I gave them paper plates. The one with pizza got two plates because we know how greasy pizza can be once reheated.

We were happily eating lunch when the turkey sandwich kid noticed the pizza kid had two plates yet she only had one.

“Mommy, how come she has two plates and I only have one?”

I showed her the greasy top plate so she could understand better. Yes, I had to justify my actions. Geesh.

Turkey sandwich girl listened to my tale, paused and said,

“Well, tomorrow I am going to have pizza too.”

All that just to get two plates just like her sister? You’ve got to be kidding.

I think I’ll just give her one plate and see what she says.....

Teenage Boys.....

If you have one, you already know. But if you don’t, let me fill you in with my experience. If you have a little boy, get ready.

Teenage boys eat. He will get in the car and eat anything mom has left from lunch, eat a snack once home, and eat dinner an hour later. How?

Teenage boys don’t ever come ask questions. They text from room to room or instant message on skype. Or, they send their little sisters to ask for them.

Teenage boys don’t like to clean up. They prefer to dump their clothes in the entry way to the bedroom and step over them. Why?

Teenage boys think climbing up the side of the house is fun. Mom does not like this game.

Teenage boys wear shorts when it’s freezing outside and jeans when it’s hot. Yep.

Teenage boys have a higher average in Spanish than in English. And English is the only language spoken at home. Kinda makes you wonder…..

Teenage boys create new and exciting games. Take dodgeblock for example. This is dodgeball on steroids. Think throwing blocks instead of balls. Get the picture?

Teenage boys do projects that involve being hit by a car. Don’t worry, there was adult supervision.

Teenage boys are fun to embarrass in front of their girlfriends.

Don’t you wish you had one?

Get your own. You can’t have mine.

My Life in Instant Replay

Here are a few tidbits for your amusement…..

We were preparing for Mass on Sunday when Dave said, “Maybe we’ll sing a Latin song.

Anna Grace said, “An Aladdin song?”
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I was doing laundry (rare, I know) when I looked down and saw a suitcase in the laundry basket. Why? Was it in need of cleaning?
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The little girls went with daddy to take Katie back to college. On the way home, they saw a blimp flying over the Georgia Dome. Why, I don’t know since the dome is, well, a dome. Anyhow. When asking Abby what they saw, she paused and said, “A bleep.”
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When I was heading out to the store, Alex said he needed shampoo. “Oh, and mom? Get the kind with conditioner in it. The girl behind me in fourth block said my hair isn’t soft enough”. Huh. How does she know this? “She plays with my hair when I’m sleeping”.
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Anna Grace got on the daycare bus headed for the after school program. The owner of the center said she overheard the following while driving….
“Hey Logan, my dad ate alligator. He said it tastes like chicken.”
Why? Was this the foremost thing in her mind???
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Alex announced on the way home that he had a group Spanish project to do involving needing to create a video/dialogue for calling for first aid---all in Spanish. His group’s idea? To video tape Alex being hit by a car. Yep.
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Coming home from school, we passed a hotel that is a mile or so from our house. Abby said, “Can we go to the hotel, mom?” Uh no. “But we never get to!” Well, we live here. “But we can still go! The hotel has beds and furniture just like our house.”
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I was passing Anna Grace’s classroom and noticed the cute display on the door. The children had put brown footprints and black handprints to make reindeer. I commented to her teacher that it was adorable. Addressing Anna Grace, her teacher said, “Did mommy clean your foot really well last night?” AG said, “Nope, we didn’t even take a shower or a bath!”
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Anna Grace came out of their room for a drink of water. Next thing I heard was, "Copycat is coming too, mom".......Abby was on her way.
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Oh, and a mommy funny. I got to school and realized I had a huge hole in my sock. So I did the logical thing and stapled my sock shut. Doesn't that make sense to you???

More to come, I’m sure.