The Cookie Thief

Each day is always unusual so why did I expect today to be any different?

We were almost at school when Alex realized he forgot the cookies he needed for his Chemistry assignment.

Sigh.

Being the sucker that I am, I said I would return home during the morning to pick them up. (note: I don’t typically do this but he needs all the points he can get in this class)

I arrived home around 9:15. Opened the door…..and the alarm did not go off.

Huh. I know I set it before leaving.

Took a quick glance at the island and realized the cookies were gone.

Another huh.

But the tv and computer were still there.

Who would come in the house and only steal cookies?

All kinds of possibilities went through my mind…..maybe a friend came by, or Katie.

No, all the friends are in school.

Called Katie….and woke her up. Wasn’t her.

Hmm, maybe the cookie thief is still in my house.

Set the alarm and left. But hung out in the driveway waiting to catch the thief trying to escape.

I then realized how dumb that was…..and went back in to search the house.

Which was equally as dumb but oh well.

No thief and no cookies.

I texted Alex at school to find out where he moved them…..yes, during class.

Waited, waited, waited, and finally heard back.

“I came home and got them when I was driving in driver’s ed. I didn’t get to tell you yet.”

Just another day in my life.

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PS. And after all that, he forgot to turn in the written part of the assignment which means he gets no credit.

My Pants and Me

I don’t think my pants like me.

If they do, they sure do show it in a funny way.

My pants have begun whining. Evidently, they are tired of being stretched to the max. They are tired of being pulled, prodded, and pulled again.

Well, excuse me. So sorry to have offended you.

Perhaps if you’d loosen up a bit, we wouldn’t have these little struggles.

After all, I clean you, iron you, and hang you up. It’s not like I dump you in the middle of the floor like some other people I know.

And this is how you repay me? By fussing and complaining?

All because I perhaps indulged in a few too many cookies, a Big Mac or two, full strength coke, pizza, and other such lovely, addicting items.....and I'm over 40....gasp!

Hmmm…

Well, let me offer these words of advice to you, my lovely pants.

I would suggest you change your attitude or you may find yourself jobless.

And in this economy, that would not be a wise choice.

Ain't Technology Grand?

I’m not talking about laptops, i-phones, i-pads, and other accessories that we seem to own.

I’m not even talking about high def tv, satellite service, or fancy cell phones.

Nope.

I am talking about bathrooms.

Yep, bathrooms.

When we were in China, we stayed in some hotels that were four to five star status. In the bathroom, in addition to the bidet (try explaining that to your kids), there was always a television and a phone.

So you can sit there doing your business and not miss one minute of your favorite show as well as call your mom at the same time.

Talk about multi-tasking.

Well, the hotel where Dave was recently staying had something else unusual in the bathroom.

Fighter pilot potties.

Well, not really but…

Potties that do all kinds of things.

You could wash and dry your bottom and other essential pieces, warm or cool the toilet seat, and neutralize odors. It even had an energy saver mode….guess you’d just better be sure to wake it up in time.





Now, just add a fridge and you’d be all set.

Phone, tv, wireless for the laptop, high tech potty, and food.

You’d never have to leave the bathroom.

Falling Down on the Job

What happens when you mix a certain uncoordinated five year old with a scooter?

You get this….



It didn’t look this bad when she first fell, I swear.

I did have to giggle at the comment from Anne, the owner of the girls daycare....

“You know what, Abby? Every time your parents have custody of you over a break, you come back a mess.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But oh so very true.

Sigh.

The Endless Journey

Imagine the longest plane trip you ever took.

Was it two hours, four hours, or more?

For me, it would be to China.

Sixteen hours from New York to Hong Kong.

I hate to fly. With a passion.

What helps me when flying?

No, not that, silly.

The onboard entertainment. Movies, games, television, and the map of where you are so you can see how many hours of sheer torture you have left.

The entertainment was the only way my kids made it to and from China alive. I promise.

Well, today, Dave left for Seoul….a mere stepping stone to Hong Kong. And a slightly shorter trip of only 13 hours.

Like that makes a huge difference. (snort)

Shortly after he boarded, I got an email saying the flight crew had just announced that the onboard entertainment would not be available due to mechanical issues.

Say what?

Can you imagine?

If I was a mom on that flight and traveling with my kids, I would have hung my head in my hands and cried.

And then begged for something to ease my pain.

I hope everyone on board arrives safe and sound in Seoul.

Especially the moms.